If I was the type to give unsolicited advice to pregnant women in the baby aisle at Target…

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When I was pregnant, I heard this more than once: “Being a mom is the hardest job you will ever love.”

True words.

Here’s the other truth though (the one I didn’t hear while super pregnant and browsing the baby aisle at Target): No one is good at his/her job all the time.

To be perfectly blunt, sometimes I straight-up suck.

  • I have cried over spilled milk…
  • sighed heavily [and perhaps cursed] when awoken multiple times in the middle of the night…
  • I might have once [or twice…who’s counting?] thrown a stumbled-upon lego…
  • And I have certainly yelled.

Seriously, this is no easy gig. Loving them is easy, but “parenting” is not.

  • They can make the simplest of tasks ridiculously difficult and time consuming…
  • Create HUGE messes in alarmingly small amounts of time…
  • Pitch ENORMOUS fits for HUGE alarming amounts of time [tantrum dots anyone?]…
  • And sometimes there’s JUST NO PLEASING THEM.

I sound like I’m bitching, I know. I sound ungrateful, but I’m not. I’m just a mom.

  • Being thankful for the blessings that they most certainly and absolutely are does not endow me with infinite patience…
  • And just because I love them, does not make me perfectly calm and all-the-time level headed.

Conversely…

  • Just because I mess up, does not mean I take them for granted…
  • Bad moments days do not make me a bad mom…
  • And sometimes I suck because I’m all-the-time human.

If I was the type of person who gave unsolicited advice to pregnant women in the baby aisle at Target, I would probably say this: Being a parent is hard, and the rewards are great, but that doesn’t make it easy. Do your best, celebrate your successes and learn from your mistakes. You will make them. It is the hardest job you will ever love, and sometimes you will suck at it [that’s o.k.] because you are human. DON’T FORGET THAT YOU ARE HUMAN!

Pssst… And don’t forget that all the other moms and dads are too 😉

 

 

 

 

 

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Laundry…commence “banging-head-against-wall”

Confession: I hate doing laundry. It is my Everest (and the piles in my house closely resemble it).

Ten truths about laundry [in our house]

1. When I strip beds for “linen day,” someone will inevitably pee through a diaper or throw up that night. “Wash when needed” is superior logic.

2. Sock baskets [by the door] work waaaaaay better than sock drawers [in a bedroom].

3. Dry clean only REALLY means either a) wear once and never again -OR- b) take my chances and machine wash on gentle. But, my best bet is to leave “dry clean only” items at the store, as they really have no business in my closet, let alone on my body.

4. “Line Dry” really means “lol – Tumble dry extra low”

5. White shirts and pants have no business in my children’s closet, let alone on their bodies.

6. Bibs are great when eating out or at someone else’s house, but “dinner in a diaper” is a superior choice when dining at home.

7. Dreft is a cute idea (laundry soap just for babies – how cute is that?), but most brands “Free and Clear” get the job done cheaper [and better].

8. The more clothes purchased: the greater the laundry pile… Less is more

9. If we have no plans to leave the house, changing out of pajamas is completely optional… and kind of silly.

And last but not least [and certainly the greatest truth in my house]

10. The laundry will never be finished. Ever.

Love Thy Neighbor

In my 31 years, I have experienced my share of “trials.” Since my 25th birthday alone, I have had 4 miscarriages, 2 c-sections with complications, thyroid problems, melanoma, and lost my job TWICE.

I learned a lot during those difficult times. Just to name a few…

1. Even when they don’t have anything nice to say, people still talk.

2. People love to hear bad news, but…

3. it ends there. They would much rather ignore your grief/problem than get personally involved in any way whatsoever

4. Self interest almost always trumps “doing the right thing”

5. People will downplay just about anything that isn’t happening to them

Last night our basement flooded. Well, part of it. Just the laundry room. In the grand scheme of things, it was small potatoes. I’m sure it will result in a decent bill, but it definitely wasn’t disastrous.

While I laid in bed, (not sleeping and jumping at every noise) I started thinking. I am sort of ashamed to say this… but, I have always been very dismissive about flooded basements. It certainly has never been my intention to be unsympathetic, but I always kind of figured “It’s a basement. They flood.” It wasn’t a lack of compassion. It was a lack of perspective. Ok, It was both. Since it wasn’t happening to me, I didn’t have much of an opinion…or reason to care.

Ignorance is was bliss.

When the water was rushing to every corner of the room, threatening to jump the threshold and enter the finished part of the basement, and I was surveying the impending, colossal damage, I kept thinking, “This is awful. Everything will be ruined. Cleaning this up will be a nightmare.” I then immediately felt many years worth of guilt for all the times I have dismissed “just a flooded basement.” Shame on me.

I am sure there has been a loooooong list of other things I have dismissed as well. I’m far from perfect.

Confession: While I have been very quick to judge people for their lack of empathy/compassion/kindness during various phases/periods in my life, I completely overlooked the times that I did THE.VERY.SAME.THING.

Ask yourself this. Have you ever made a statement ever that started with “It’s just…” -OR- made a statement along the lines of “It could be worse?”  (i.e. It’s just a miscarriage. Just skin cancer.) I certainly have. (i.e. It’s just a flooded basement).

Ignorance isn’t bliss. Ignorance is ignorance.

Last night was eye opening for me. I am glad our laundry room flooded because ignorance can very easily become a way of life if we never learn to see we are never shocked into seeing beyond our own noses.

em·pa·thy
the ability to understand and share the feelings of another

I used to think that empathy came ONLY from shared experiences. It really doesn’t need to. Really, all we need to do is “Love Thy Neighbor.” If it is a big deal to someone/anyone, it is a big deal. Period. We need to look beyond our own noses, see past our own front doors, and get out of our own damn heads.

We council kids to “worry about yourself,” but I think we have taken that to an extreme. Maybe If we spent less time worrying about ourselves, we could think about others and help others a little more. I don’t know. Maybe this is just a sleep deprived, caffeine fueled rant about nothing in particular, but I am changed woman after my little flooding fiasco last night. From now on, I am making empathy and kindness a greater priority.

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Words to live by, friends! 🙂